


Victim of the game

by little_purple_butterflies



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: Episode: s07e01 Resurrection, Gen, a songfic of a different kind, short character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 22:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13867353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_purple_butterflies/pseuds/little_purple_butterflies
Summary: Paying back the debt came with another burden for Ryan.





	Victim of the game

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from a song called "Victim of the game" by Garth Brooks which I used for this song!fic.
> 
> This story is also posted on ff.net but without the lyrics.
> 
> A big thanks to my dear friend Sarah for being my beta.

 

Ryan sat on a log out at the beach; the same place he’s been to a lot of times in the past, and watched as the sun went down, bathing the city in its orange light.

 

He thought about the day that would soon end. Their plan had thankfully succeeded and he was glad that it was over.

 

That Horatio had chosen him to pull it off was a privilege. He knew that.

 

And it hadn’t been the first time. Back when there had been a mole in the lab, Horatio had approached him. His superior had promised that it wouldn’t fall on him.

 

But in a way it had. Cause it had been Ryan who had had to lie to the people he considered to be family in order to set a trap for the mole. And he had been on the receiving end of their anger when they had found out about it. He’d had to re-earn their trust afterwards.

 

Well, it took a little time

But I guess you finally learned

That promises get broken

And bridges do get burned

You've been sifting through the ashes

Just trying to find a flame

Holding on to nothing

You're a victim of the game

 

That had been the last straw, the point where Ryan had started to gamble. He had wanted to have control over something when he’d lost control over everything else in his life.

 

But there was no control with gambling and before he knew it, he hadn’t been able to stop anymore. In the end it had cost him his job.

 

You were standing way too close

To see it all fall apart

And there were things you couldn't hear

Cause you were listening with your heart

But you can't say I didn't warn you

Now there's no one else to blame

There's no one quite as blind

As a victim of the game

 

He had never thought something like that would happen to him. All he ever wanted was to be a cop, and later a CSI.

 

He simply wanted to be accepted and respected for what he did. Maybe he had cared too much for that.

 

And it don't matter who you are

It treats everyone the same

All you need's a heart

To be a victim of the game

 

Soon he had started to display the typical behavior of an addict. He had lied about his addiction, though everyone had seemed to know it, despite his efforts.

 

And he had denied it to himself. He just didn’t have a problem with gambling was what he had told himself over and over.

 

You know it's really getting to you

When you take to telling lies

And you can try to fool your friends

But you can't look 'em in the eye

There ain't no standing tall

In the shadow of the shame

When everybody knows

That you're a victim of the game

 

Then it had come out. He had tried to protect the lab and had paid back his debt. But this action had been what had cost him the job in the end.

 

Why had he thought that it wouldn’t come out sooner or later? He was just a regular addict after all.

 

And it don't matter who you are

It treats everyone the same

All you need's a heart

To be a victim of the game

 

Horatio had pulled the strings for him to get rehired. Like he had told his boss, he would never forget that.

 

And he hadn’t.

 

That’s why he had shouldered the burden of just another one of Horatio’s “secret operations”. He had owed it to his superior.

 

And again he had been shouted at, had even been attacked by Eric. For which he never got an apology.

 

Deep down, that had hurt a lot.

 

Oh, you know, when I look into your eyes

I can really feel the pain

Staring in the mirror

At a victim of the game

 

He had risked a lot for Horatio. The whole thing had alienated him even further from the rest of the team.

 

He had thought about giving up countless times.

 

But he couldn’t.

 

This job was his life, his destiny, all he ever wanted to be. Like Horatio had said, it was in his blood.

 

So here he sat, thinking everything over, only to realize, that in the end, he had always been a victim.

 

A victim of the game.

 

The game that other people played.

 


End file.
